Eid got me thinking
Friday 3rd November 2006 09:37:44 PM
On Eid I was relaxing with the extended family in Bradford which means all the uncles, aunties, first cousins, and all their little monkeys were present. It was a joyous event for sure and if I’m honest the main factor was the kids.
It was wonderful watching them do their thing; all cute and bunnied up running around eating and doing what they like without a care in the world. Let me tell you a bit about my cousins. They mainly consist of four families who are my Dad’s brothers and sister (chacha’s and puppow).
From my puppow’s family two of the son’s are married and have two kids each. On the other side, my elder chacha has two sons; the younger one has one kid and the elder son two. The middle chacha has three kids and the younger one has two. In total I think that makes it ten kids (phew, I’m confused can you tell?) now imagine them scrawling around and bawling non-stop!
To confuse me further, they’re all nearly the same ages, all under eight and they only have a few years difference between them. They also go in pairs too, like the puppow’s grandkids first and second kids have a year or less between them. The same goes for all my chacha’s kids and grandkids!
If you’re a guy like me who barely manages to meet his first cousins (and that’s how I like it) never mind their own kids you can imagine what happened. It’s usually about 6-8 months each time I’ve seen their kids, so I was like “Hello S, who’s a coochy poo? Yes, who?” only to be told by my cousin that it isn’t S. “Are you sure? Definitely looks like S, who is it then?” this happened a few times, only to be told that it’s the other chacha or puppow’s kid.
And one time a kid was crying and I didn’t whose kid it was! Only solution was to take care of him myself. Took a long time but eventually got there, tiring for sure.
In the midst of all this I was thinking about when would be a good time to have kids. For sure I want to have kids (y’know little piniyini’s running around everywhere bumping heads) but how so? This brings the other species into the equation and one that I try to keep my distance from, you would too after all the horror stories I’ve heard.
All the cousins I’ve mentioned above have had an arranged marriage within the family; bah, I’m not feeling that. Arranged? Within family?!
The youngest cousin I mentioned is only a year older and has 2-3 month baby. If you do your sums this means when he’s 40 his offspring will be 20, perfecto if you ask me. The rest of us are not so lucky. Let’s say I get married at 25 (if I’m lucky!), at 40 piniyini no 2 will be 15, not bad but not great either. Obviously this is not taking into consideration the view point of the future missus and if/when she wants to go ahead, which could delay the matter even further.
Basically the point I’m trying to make is that I would want to be able to kick a football with my teenage kid, not huff, puff and collapse on the floor if I tried to do so.
Anyway glad I’ve got this off my chest, been bugging me (if only slightly).
Posted by Piniyini
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>>I would want to be able to kick a football with my teenage kid, not huff, puff and collapse on the floor if I tried to do so.
LOL
you can still be old and healthy :) also, if the kicking a football thing doesn't work, you can always play playstation with your kid instead!
Salaams and Hello Toseef! :)
I had to laugh when I read your thoughts on age and having kids. I was 27 when I had my son (I am still 27 lol). For me, it is a good age. I am more into the "mom" way of thinking and doing things.
Arrange marriages...hmmm...I am not going to say to much on this because my husband has cousins that married and they are extremely happy. But also saw arranged marriages that went down real bad. But I really think it is up to the person if they want to go that route. It shouldn't be forced.
Don't rush into having the kids. Take time to enjoy the married life first. To enjoy having that "one-on-one" time. I did and believe me, it was the best. But I know that it will be even better when it will be the 3 of us (I hope soon, Insha'Allah).
Take care!
"And one time a kid was crying and I didn’t whose kid it was! Only solution was to take care of him myself. Took a long time but eventually got there, tiring for sure."
And you still wanna to have Kids!!
haha...i always laugh my head off when u ask the kid's mum "is this yours?". lol
LOL - that's how I feel when I'm around my dh's family and their kids, etc. I don't remember who is who and I sure as heck don't remember any names -but I'm getting better!! :)
You've got so much time left..lemme scroll up here and check out your age like I'm the expert or something... darnit, I'd have to go back and look but I know you are still pretty young. You've got plllleny of time. But you know, I was the same way - I wanted to have 'em while I was still "young" or thought I was young ya know. Enjoy the good life first - whatever that might be! Not that having babies isn't the good life because it is to me! You'll need some piniyinis running around one day!!
Oh and about arranged marriages WITHIN the family...I know this is very common in a lot of cultures and I respect that but it's not something I would wanna do. :/
Take care!
Hey, you are thinking like me now :D
The thought you had is bugging my father more than me. haha But it is true you know. Earlier marriage has its own advantages. (This is coming from a guy who has taken lectures from everybody including the company's CEO. lol)
Which plugin you used for spell checker on comment box. I have been searching stuff like this for ages.
Do let me know okies :)
I take the above comment back. It is Firefox 2.0 feature ... Sowwie :D
hahah. that crakd me up...realli don't want 2 get married 2 a budda hubbie...nd i dont want 2 end upp huffin nd puffing...buttt this just reminded me of my dad..who still plays crikt and fottball with me nd me bro
the age of 59, without any collapsing. who knows..u mite get luky?
When to have kids ? Hahaha ... I had my son at 23 ... I will be 43 when he turns 20. Cool ! Next 2 (definitely wanna have two more) won't be so lucky. Mommy will be old and cranky. Tsk tsk for them . Hahahaha
The older you get, the better parent you are. Don't worry...and since you already like kiddos and want some more, it only speaks highly of you and your parental instinct. :)
you'll be fine :)