Woopy Fuckin Doo It's My Birthday
Tuesday 17th May 2005 11:53:00 AM
Thats right folks, its my b' day and does anyone know it? Hell no.
19, thats how old I am. God I really do feel old; some of you probably will be saying thats not old at all but man it does not feel that way.
I woke up at 9:45 today, snoozed till 11, thinking what the fack have I accomplished in life? Fack all, thats what. The reason being I have no determination and drive, I cant do one thing properly and if do something I will give-up sooner rather or later thinking this is shit, I cant be arsed. I'm thinking I'm gonna end up to be a jack of all trades, master of none kinda guy, if even that.
You're thinking, Toseef chill out man life cant be that bad, dont beat yourself up over nothing. Let me tell you what I been doing throughout the years (or not been).
High school was from 1997 to 2002. The first three years were cool, I used to study and work hard to get the grades my parents longed (especially my old man). He used to go to all the parents evening's simply because he wanted to, without me even telling him there was one. It can be said that I was a nerdy little kid, working my ass off just to get some merit stickers and prove that I was one of the best in the class. Like I mentioned, those were the first three years. The final two are somewhat different.
Then puberty struck so hard I didnt know what the fuck was happening, and this changed my attitude to grades, school, people, parents, and dare I say it, girlies.
From then on it was all about looking cool and retro, smoking, getting in trouble, fighting, being the best (one of) in sports, especially football, just to get in with the girls. Is there anything us guys wouldnt do for them?
As you can imagine, grades went down and ofcourse my parents noticed. From them on I was recieving regualar bollockings from my old man (talk about over-protective) over things I hadnt even done. He was pissed off when he found out I was checking out someone, and forbid any such doings since we are muslims. Yeh I know how retarded that sounds.
Anyway I became an average student and got grades that got me to college, which my old was chuffed about (finally!). College is another hectic story and lasted two years. As college is way different to high school I found it hard to adjust, or I think it is the fact that I didnt want to. You wouldnt believe the shit we used to do. Some things include playing cards, and when lesson time came, what were we all doing? None other than still playing cards. We all played a lot a cards you know. When we got pissed off we would tear up the worn up cards deck into bits and leave 'em lying around on the table and floor for the cleaners to do thier job. At times when there was no card playing we would sit in our metal chairs (good ol' huddersfield new college), put our feet up and just talk, talk, and chat shit. In the next day or two someone would have a cards deck on them and the routine would resume.
As always I was getting pushings from my old man, stuff like you better pass kid, on a weekly if not daily basis.
I passed the first college year (somehow) and got through the next along with the rest of my jabrony friends. In the second year the group of friends slightly changed, but the most of us were still together. We didnt do much in this year, not much card playing (compared to the first anyway), hardly any studying or attending class, took on chess we did, and after we mastered that we used to slouch in our comfy metal chairs. Little did we know it we were living the college bum life, and it was the best.
There was a little car racing guy thing we had going on, as a few of my mates had cars, whether they were passed or not is an entirely different matter. So we cruised in this year, and I dont know how the fuck I passed and got through to Uni.
One year on. Life in Uni is shite; I'm thinking this is because I am living local i.e not away from home. All being my old man's idea of keeping an eye on me, or as he like's to say why get in debt when you dont have to? Fair point to him. I would actually prefer (believe it or not) to be in debt, this way I know atleast I have to do something in Uni and use that as a motivational factor. Chilling out would ofcourse come into that.
Dont get me wrong, Huddersfield University is great and the course aint bad either. It's just that I have been doing the minimal to pass and passing now seems unlikely. So my old man is going to be well vexed when he finds out his sonny boy has failed for the fisrt time in his educational career. Whether I resit or quit Uni depends on him. Man, I am going have to listen to his fucking five hour lecture (no bull) on how important education is, especially for us ethnic minorities. Fucking fuck fuck fuck.
To top it all off, I had an Operations exam today which I know I flunked. Dont know what the fuck I'm going to do.
The shit that pisses me off is that I have been waking up for five (maybe more) years at the same time and doing the same shit each and everyday. I really do need a change of scenary. The fact that my parents are way over-protective, asking every minor detail and requiring an explanation for every fucking thing I do doesnt help either. Maybe it is an Asian thing. The other day I came home at ten and mummy was on my back, where you been, what did you do, blah blah blah.
Back to it being my birthday. In our family we dont and never have celebrated birthdays, did ya heart just throb an irregular beat? Maybe I should have issued a warning before throwing that at you. The only thing I got was a 'happy birthday' from my two younger sisters, which is something that goes on every year between us. I aint fussy about not celebrating b'days, hell I'm used to it now as are they.
The reason we dont is because we are muslims, and muslims dont celebrate birthdays (so my old man says). That cant be right as loads of other muslim families celebrate, my auntie being one of them.
As of today, and just so I have something to do, I've taken up sucking cancer sticks as a hobby. One can only hope they will get me far, far away in life, in a place where no-one can hassle me. Its a fucked up life.
I would tell you loads more about the Paki-Muslim life for a 19 year old male in the UK but I dont know if you would be able to hack it, plus my elder sister reads this blog so I dont want to get into too much trouble. Speaking of which, she is coming this Saturday from America (after marrying an Americano). That is the only thing going for me at the moment.
Time is running out, I had better publish this post before the clock strikes 12 and my wonderful birthday comes to and end. Ranting posts are ultimately great, cleanses the soul as a friend once said, today I feel I can write forever. Thats no more real life ranting posts for all of you, well, maybe until next year.
Posted by Piniyini
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Used to date a girl from Huddersfield Uni ages ago :| She was a bit mad.
Anywayz, Happy Birthday!!
In our family birthday's are usually just a family thing. A big dinner and all that. I don't mind going for a drink or two later on but it starts to get depressing after say... ur 22nd or so bday as you realise ur getting old!
Have a good one, you still got time :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY dude! Belated, but meant nonetheless :)
I gotta say I fucked up college and didn't go to Uni, drifted through crap jobs for years and am now drifting through the web industry. I wish I'd got another A level or 2 and a degree or more... it does open up doors for you man; I was lucky enough to have sneaked through some or just plain kicked 'em in LOL
On Uni education... it's better to get your qualification and not use it than not have one and maybe regret it later...
Whatever you do, be lucky :D
Happy Birthday Toseef!!!! Your old man is too hard on you, and if i were you, i would run very very far. It's time to pull your belt up a notch and start hittiing the books. Get better grades for a year and pack up your bags. In that kind of environment you are not going to excel academically or emotionally. And don't measure yourslelf by other folk's yardsticks. No one is expecting you to invent toast when you're 19. Give yourself some time and in the meantime do something that will allow you to move away from your opressive environment. Islam isn't about suffocating your children. What's happening to you is a result of control and displaced anger, unfortunatley it's manifested itself in the classic Muslim male archetype: becming a fundo and taking it out on your family. All the best to you Toseef. May the force be with you.
S