Toseef's Blog

Friday 4th April 2008 08:36:21 PM

pardon my lame joke

As most of you guessed, I'm not really getting married (thankfully). I hadn't posted in a while and then thought "oh maybe I should update my blog", plus a few people where beginning to bug me about it aswell. The problem with writing a blog entry when you've not done so in a while is that you don't really know where to begin. And just when I was about to write something I realised that it's the 1st of April, and on that note posted a little April Fool's joke related to the post that had been sitting on the front page for two months. I was surprised to find that some people actually fell for it, c'mon peeps you know me better than this!

Y'know something? I have a lot to say about desi's and marriage but I'm going to save all that for some other day. Oh and here's something I found out a while back (and it may surprise you aswell) ... my dad knows about this blog and I cringe to think he may even read it at times. Yes, you read that right. I don't know how he found out but I have a fair idea, probably saw it in the address bar on the home computer. Aaaaah. But I've decided I've got nothing to hide (ahem, ahem) and will speak my mind as usual. Besides, I've always said this is a family friendly blog - never did I think they'd read it though!

On some other news my BIL (brother-in-law) is here from America and we always have a ton of guests over, not only that but we have to go places too. Yippee. Not.

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 1st April 2008 11:35:58 PM

I'm getting married !

I don't know how this happened but it's happening, I can't even believe it myself! Hmmm, where to start? Well, you know my previous post ... it had a bit of truth to it apparently. My parents hooked me up with this girl who are good family friends, at first I was like "No no no, I'm not going for some arranged shit" but when I saw her picture I couldn't say no. This chick ticks all the right boxes and has me all raring to go, this girl is FLY.

I'm so busy these day's it's unbelievable. I'll post more about this later on, it's late and I'm tired and I promised a few people I'd update (namely Feesa who said she'd beat me up if I didn't) ... will post more soon :)

8 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Sunday 3rd February 2008 04:20:12 PM

You know you're a desi when ...

... you recieve a text message from one of your cousins, in all seriousness, congratulating you on the arrangement of your WEDDING - to one of your close cousins in Pakistan might I add (puke!) ... apparently it's been scheduled for July this year.

Oh what fun lives the Paki's lead.

20 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Wednesday 30th January 2008 08:54:24 PM

How do I feel? (by Sanna)

My youngest sister Sanna who is 8 years old was telling me that she reads this blog, when I found out I was surprised to say the least. Asked if she understood what I was talking about, she replied "Yeah most of it, and I read Boba's blog too but I think yours is better" (ha ha Boba).

A little later on I went to my room and on the wardrobe is a picture Sanna drew many years that I leave hanging on. For one reason only, to tease her about it every chance I get (and I think I do that rather well) - infact I've just thought of a new digitalized version of doing so.

What I like about this picture:
- The writing is all jumbled and oversized (i.e. name, and text under the faces).
- The date. I remember her bringing the work home like it was yesterday, eventhough four years is a long time.
- The smiley faces ... show the innocence of a child.
- The two "blobs" which are explained by the teachers comment "Super - you've used full stops to end your sentences Sanna".

I hope you still like my blog Sanna

9 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 28th January 2008 04:31:00 PM

blog keyward stats

Yeah yeah yeah I know I've not been updating .. I've been trying some time management things out and it's all bullshit it doesn't work or maybe I don't let it work but either way here we are back to square one as always.

So I could put loads of things on here such as Abz texting me and saying he's going to find a new buddy because this one isn't very active in the girl hunting department. I told him all in due time and if he ever thinks of mentioning of replacing me ever again then I will have no choice but to put an end to this old time relationship. Also, that he had offended me deeply and should consider himself very lucky for us to be one again. (Samajdarr larka howsh may agayah varrna ...)

Anyway because I've not been posting regular I thought it'd be an idea to check my blog stats just to see if anyone visits this place anymore, and to my surprise everything was about average (not drastically less than before - hence decided to post). While I was doing so I clicked on "Keyword Analysis" and had a chuckle over some of the keywords (duh) used to find this blog:

sleeping walking/talking

It's happened to me more times than I care to mention, often finding myself in the bog in the middle of the night. But shit happens what can you do ...

who shall i give my love to

Oh I dunno, the highest bidder maybe? Or throw it around like a frisbee to whoever wants to play, the worst scenario is you'll get it back in the chest, that can't be all that bad right?

bullshit movies

They're all fcuking bullshit, I've made a pact not to watch any more. The story lines are lame, the actors/actresses are snobby shits who don't know real life at all. Can't be arsed with 'em anymore.

i love baba ali

Aww ain't that nice? I remember when I went to one his talks, a guy asked him if he was married or not (yes a guy! and he got laughed at haha). Baba Ali tactically avoided the question, can't even remember what his reply was - me thinks he might aswell become an MP.

kitkat peanut london

London IS a kitkat peanut, and how is searching google for food going to help?

gay muslim allowed

Yes they are, no they're not, yes they are, no they're not ... (you get the idea). I asked my little sister Sanna who's 8 years old and she says they're not, but what I'm trying to say is your opinion will change depending on who you ask.

why do chavs put their hands down their pants

Oh boy that's a toughie. There's only one way to find out for sure and that certainly ain't here.

found out i smoke

Shit, I hate it when that happens. One minute you're standing there and the next you're blowing smoke from a baccy stick and then all of a sudden you're like "Damn fuck why I am always the last one to find out?!"

slept with sister in the same bed

Er ... I hope you're her younger sister

sexy savile dewsbury

I've lived here all my life and believe me when I say it's not so sexy!

1 commentPosted by Piniyini

Thursday 10th January 2008 08:43:18 PM

my first blog spam

Now that everyone has become a muslim from staring at the previous "make me a muslim" post I thought it'd be a good time to make a comeback. Nah who am I kidding? The real reason I'm updating is to mark the fact that I got my first ever automated blog spam comment today (well 32 in total if I'm being honest), and get this I'm actually happy about it.

Yeah I know spam is a real pain in the behind for most blog authors and probably takes a lot of their time but I've never had to deal with it before. The reason being that this blog is custom coded and doesn't follow the same templates as Blogger or Wordpress (which spammers aim for) this can only mean one thing. Before the spammer could run their pesky little bot they had to specifically code it to align with my comment template, which would mean they thought my blog was popular enough and/or worthwhile for them to take the time out to spam it. Ha ha ha, how wrong they were.

I've never pre-approved my comments like some bloggers have to and for sure I'm not going to start now. As a cautionary measure I did enable image verification but it shouldn't be a problem for my human visitors ...

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 17th December 2007 05:54:22 PM

Video: Make Me A Muslim

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

7 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Make Me A Muslim (channel 4 part 1)
Video: Make Me A Muslim

Monday 17th December 2007 01:08:05 PM

Make Me A Muslim (channel 4 part 1)

Haven't posted in a while and thought it'd be a good idea to make a comeback for this one. Make Me A Muslim aired yesterday on Channel 4 and what a laugh that was, we were in hysterics from start to finish because it doesn't represent us modern day muslims at all. It had more of a comedic value if you ask me ... oh on so many levels!

For those of you who may not know what the program was about Channel 4 has a good summary.

Can Islam help repair the moral fabric of British society? To test it out, Imam Ajmal Masroor asks six non-Muslims and one lapsed Muslim to follow Islamic teachings for three weeks. The six come from Harrogate, in Yorkshire, a town with very few ethnic minority inhabitants.

Here's a picture of the three men and one muslim women who have the task of giving some insight of the muslim world to six weird and wacky individuals. And from what I saw they didn't do terribly well. Infact, they sucked big time. These guys were far too "old skool" in my opinion, what the producers should have done is have modern muslims explaining the concept of islam and how it can apply in their everyday lives but no they didn't want to do that ...

A little background on the non-muslims who decided to take part in the programme.

LUKE

A gay boy who leads a party lifestyle and enjoys dressing up fashionably ... erm, gay. Also likes designer sunglasses, pink tops, panties, and frocks. I like the fact that out of all the other non-muslims on the show he's the most open minded and respectful to others beliefs and opinions.

Comedy moment when one of the imams, Suleiman, is explaining to Luke why he thinks being gay is a choice and not a built-in function.

Luke: Why can't islam accept who I am?
Suleiman: Look Luke, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!

Roflmao.

PHIL

A live-alone beer-drinking porn-watching bacon-munching taxi-driver who is also partial to a slice of the "gentlemens club" every so often.

"I get up in the mornings, I know God loves me, I don't understand why you have to pray fives times a day to show you love God, I don't get it"

You could say Phil is the most rebellious of the group but he does say towards the end of the show that he's willing to give islam one more attempt.

ASH & KARLA

Ash is referred to as a "lapsed muslim" in the show and is dating a non-muslim called Karla who is looking for acceptance from Ash's side of the family. She tries to get to grips with islam but it could be said that her reasoning for participating is flawed.

KERRY

A mother of two glamour-model who has recently dished out £4k on breast enlargement. The muslim women in the group plans a trip to Bradford with Kerry to find her some suitable clothes, however Kerry is having none of it. Afterall she is paid to take her clothes off.

There's also one more person in the group but I can't remember her story (or maybe they didn't show much of her). I really do hope Channel 4 viewers don't take the program seriously because if they do they'll surely have some warped views of muslims. Which can never be good for anyone.

Hopping 'round the blogosphere I noticed some very well written reviews about the show, one paragraph that struck out was by Unique and there's no way I could have said it better myself.

I believe the main imam, a British Muslim, had a vision for this program, to let the British public know that their materialistic life of sex, nudity, alcohol, binge-drinking and nightclubs is slowly rotting their society away from any morals and real meaning. He wants non-Muslims to look past the materialistic life and find a peaceful, spiritual life that has nothing to do with the immoral scenes we see in the streets of the West. He believes Islam is the answer, the cure, for such societal diseases.

Part 2 (of 3) is coming on tonight at 8pm, I'll be watching - just for the laugh.

6 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Make Me A Muslim (channel 4 part 1)
Video: Make Me A Muslim

Wednesday 21st November 2007 08:58:32 PM

Seven Weird Things

I've been tagged by Marigold to share 7 weird things about myself ...

1. I can spend whole days on the computer and it doesn't bother me at all.
2. I don't have ANY girlfriends and everyone thinks I have a few.
3. I've never read a book from start to finish since junior school.
4. I think Britney is fit.
5. I think not shaving for days represents freedom and a care-free soul.
6. When I like a song I listen to it non-stop until my ears bleed of it (rinse and repeat).
7. I only have 3 close friends.
8. I think I'm going to be one of those guys that gets married really late.
9. I've never committed myself to anything 100% and I don't think I ever will.
10. My dream job is a computer/software programmer.
11. I hate online social networks.
12. I could stay in bed for 3 days given the chance.
13. I used to get into fights all the time when I was younger but have now calmed down considerably.
14. I would rather sleep than do anything else.
15. I've fallen into a well when I was younger (in Pakistan).
16. Have also fallen off a moving bus.
17. And also got stuck in a fridge.
18. I only enjoy playing on the old consoles e.g. Mega Drive, Nintendo (none of this PS2/X-Box bs!).
19. I have too many interests that I end up doing only a few (usually unfinished).
20. I think asian girls with nose-studs are incredibly hot.
21. I feel more at home when everything is a mess.

Didn't know if your weird was the same as my weird so I ended up extending the list, but I don't think I'm weird so ...

To continue the trend I'm going to pass this onto Brujita, iMuslim, Cafe, and a few others off the blogosphere - Rai, my sister Aapa, and Lena.

9 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 19th November 2007 08:52:38 PM

Imran Khan a dead man?

Imran Khan has decided to go on a hunger strike in the prison he is being held at in protest to Musharraf's emergency rule. I can see why someone like Imran Khan would do this (for the publicity) but is it really a good idea? Maybe if he was in another country but not in Pakistan.

On Monday, he decided to stop eating or drinking until judges that were fired when Musharraf imposed the emergency are reinstated, said his former wife, Jemima Khan. (source: Associated Press)

No doubt there are a lot of people wanting to get rid of Imran Khan because of his publicity and influence as a politician so why is he making their job easier for them? I can just imagine his opponents now, snickering at the thought of him starving himself and making himself weaker in the process.

C'mon Imran, don't do this - it won't get you anywhere. Thousands of people are starved everyday in Pakistan and the people who have the power to do something about it don't care, and if you honestly think that Musharraf will restore 'democracy' as a result of this please don't hold your breath. On the other-hand, if this is nothing but a publicity stunt then you may have scored yourself some points.

8 commentsPosted by Piniyini