Toseef's Blog

I don't care what they say, why should I? ~ texted in [date] [time]

Saturday 13th February 2010 11:45:31 AM

Hmm

The problem with getting back into the groove of blogging, is simply, starting. With so many things having moved on, or how shall I say "evolving" I don't really know where to begin.

Oh I know, my favourite subject of all ...

2 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 3rd November 2009 11:34:15 PM

You're fired?!

So I really have been a naughty boy.

I think a bit of history is in order. A while back, I had this bright idea of going on a self-proclaimed "self improvement program" because I was becoming incredibly lazy as a result of my apathetic attitude to life (which I have gathered by now is me in default mode). Instead of just thinking about it I decided to convert some of my thoughts into actions, so I highlighted a few things (more on this another time) and thought yes, I really will try and do something constructive and galvanize myself.

One of the things on my invisible list was a change of job, not necessarily a change of field, just a change of scenery, new faces, new surroundings, new route to work, that kind of thing. Finding a job when the country is in a recession was going to be a toughie, especially when we're constantly being reminded of huge job losses in the media but I was keen to give it a try. Some of you will know I work in a finance related call centre, a job I applied for when I needed part time work while at university, and a few years later I found myself still there. So I thought, if jobs are scarce and instead of applying for a job related to my university course where all employers require experience (which, being a student, I have none of) I may aswell apply for another finance related call centre with better pay and prospects etc.

Luckily I landed myself a job at the best finance call centre in the UK, from a customer service and employee perspective anyway (I'm not going to say which one, but you can have a guess if you like). So far so good, the free drinks and snacks (plus other things) helped a great deal. Just one slight problem, I misjudged my notice period at my present employer and on my application form wrote down a notice period of two weeks. BIG mistake.

On my present contract it said something like "if you are employed for less than a year your notice period is two weeks, if you're employed for more than a year but less than two years it's four weeks, and if it's more than two and less than four then its six weeks". At the time I gave my notice I had been working there for 4 years and 8 months and my notice period was eight weeks, i.e. 2 months! Aaargh, and I was due to be starting my new employment in a months time!

So I came to an agreement with my manager (who is incredibly chilled out with me) that he'd reduce my notice period slightly and shuffle my hours so that I could start the training at the new place and give enough notice as required by the present company. All good I thought, that is until today when the new workplace decided to pay our training group, and that's when the trouble started. Who'd have thought getting paid could cause so much of a ruckus?

What had happened was, or so I think, was that my tax bracket and/or national insurance had flagged up as working in two different companies. And if you didn't already know, this is a big no no when it comes to finance companies - it's called "a potential conflict of interest" (no pun intended).

Just after getting paid, I find myself talking to two members of the recruitment team rigging me with what seems to be a-hundred-and-one-questions telling me "this is very important so please ensure your answers are accurate and honest". So I told 'em, and watched them scribble down the answers as if it was a police interview or a court appearance (not that I've ever been to one of those). At the end of the "telling off session" she tells me that my present employer shouldn't have allowed this (my present employer didn't give a sh#t) and that she will speak to them about it. Also, "to come into work tomorrow as usual and we will let you know on a decision after speaking to our superiors".

So that's where I'm at right now. And to be perfectly honest I was only miffed about the situation for the first half an hour after she told me, after that I didn't give a sh#t. Yes I do realise my "self improvement program" could result in me being out a job, out of the old and of the new. But then I realised, I don't have any expenses - no bills to pay, no rent, no-one to rely on me financially, and nobody to give a hoot (other than my parents who would only be annoyed as I'd resort to being a couch potatoe).

Then I had another bright idea. If I do happen to get fired, I could go to America to see my sister and nephew who I have been missing deeply and thinking about at odd hours of the night. The only difference would be I'd be a couch potatoe there instead of here.

And then I could eat my sisters baby and live happily ever after (it's always about living happily ever after). Aye, now there's a plan.

ps: I find out tomorrow.

8 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Saturday 31st October 2009 09:35:12 PM

Time to wake up!

Aaaiiii haaaiiiii

So who's been a bad boy? Oh aye, that would be me!

Don't know where to start really, I just felt like blogging so here I am. Yes I know, I come and go as I please but would I be me if I didn't?

There's loads I could say, maybe I will, maybe I won't - only time will tell. I'd like to think I've matured since my previous posts, or maybe it's simply a frame of mind. It's been exactly two months since my last post and in that time period I didn't check my blog not even once. Do I feel guilty about neglecting comments and such? Or as some people have said "what about your blog friends?" to that I say I've never blogged for others, only myself. And the one part most people don't really understand is that online friends aren't real. Nice, but intangible, takes away most of the friend element if you ask me.

Anyway, this was simply an opener. I know nobody reads this anymore, but it's not for you, it's for me. If truth be told, blogging helps to get my mind into gear and prioritize everything that's going on around me (try it sometime). On that note, I have to say it's time for me to wake up and take the world head on. So here I go ...

3 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Thursday 30th July 2009 08:03:43 PM

Woo, A Cheesy Shaadi

A while back I got a call from a college friend telling me he was waiting outside my house and that he had some important news. From the moment I sat in his car and even before we exchanged salaam, I knew from the huge grin on his face what this was about. He was getting married. It's funny how it's always the one you least expect to fall first.

Now, this friend of mine, I won't refer to him by name but his nickname is "Cheesy" - yes I know what you're thinking "What a 'Cheesy' nickname" yet it suits him perfectly. No doubt, whoever knows him will tell you what a incredibly funny character he is. Going back to one of the first times I bumped into him in college, we were sitting around a table simply joking and lounging about, when all of a sudden the topic changed to the S topic (don't ask how).

And he's like, all innocently ...

"What's S all about?"

We all gave him a blank stare.

"C'mon man, stop playing"

"I don't know what you guys are talking to about, share the joke" he says straightforwardly.

Once again, we looked at each other in disbelief thinking this poor guy's 17 and he doesn't know - maybe his parents have kept him more cocooned than the average asian kid, and there was a sense of feeling sorry for him. It doesn't help that he has one of those faces which gives the impression that this guy could ever tell a lie let alone know one.

So while we all contemplated our approach in utter silence, his long-time friend from school walked in and saw us all sitting quietly. Sensing that something was amiss ...

"What's the matter boys?"

As someone filled him in, his immediate response was ...

"Oh ayvee marnaii, Cheesy stop messin' wi' em!"

We all looked at Cheesy with half rage and total disbelief only for him to respond with a barrel of his corny-trademark laughter. Yup, from then on we all knew we'd get along.

(kinda went off-topic here a little, more tomorrow - if I can be bothered!)

11 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Wednesday 3rd June 2009 01:43:47 PM

it's beyond my control

As I was having breakfast today, my somewhat annoying sister was on the computer surfing aimlessly and then she says

"girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, boy"

I look up and she's on my blogroll, and yes this thought has occurred to me too. My blogroll mostly consists of the opposite gender, I have tried rationalising this out in my head but the truth is I don't know why this is.

Although there are 13 people on the list right now the actual database has 51 entries, and only those that update within a fortnight appear as links. Yes, most of them are women (only 13 guys).

Looking at other guys websites, a similar theme runs throughout - they too have more girls on their navbar. But then again, girls have more girls on their lists too.

I think the simple realisation is that there are more female bloggers, that would make most sense to me.

6 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 1st June 2009 05:57:49 PM

kids - is there anything they don't know?

I was doing the school round today and on the way back, the neighbours kid (who I also have the pleasure of transporting) says to my sister

"hey, lets shout at some boys!"

I smiled slyly at that, and thought nothing of it. Was I in for a surprise or what. Driving past and on seeing some boys their age they start shouting (with the windows down)

"Hey look at all you gay boys! GAY BOYS, GAY BOYS!"

I was in utter shock. These are two girls aged 9 and 10 are they are saying things like this, not just saying but they actually know the meanings of such words. I did give them a little telling off but nothing too severe, I mean what can you really say?

This brings me to another topic which riles me up really bad. Kids, they know it all these days and from such a young age too, like my little sister she knew it all from the age of 8 (and yes I'm talking about the S word). They even know the meanings of words such as gay and lesbian and know that its abnormal.

Is it me or are they missing out on childhood? I can't even remember anything about being 10 or 11 never-mind such sensitive topics and the only time I knew about the S word was at puberty and sex education. I was oblivious to everything around me till then. God bless sex-ed.

When my elder sister had her baby in February (there's so many things I've not blogged about, this is one of them) I was picking up my darling nephew and somehow came about the topic as to when she discovered the working of the birds and the bees. I was glad to hear it was around the same age as me (13 or 14) any sooner I think is too early and any later, well I won't say anything.

My aunt who was there at the time, and who is originally from Pakistan, told me she found out at the age of 18! And that, when she was working as a nurse, oh the irony. I found that impossible to believe but she reassured me that was the case, I remember her saying that in Pakistan some girls don't know anything at all until they are a lot older.

Anyway I've gone slightly off-topic, all I wanted to say is that kids nowadays know too much too soon and I don't think it's healthy.

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Thursday 28th May 2009 08:34:02 PM

40 ways to confuse a guy

I received an unsolicited email (spam) a while back from a certain "Fareda Mohamed" with the subject "Muslim Marriage Event". Unlike other spam emails which I simply delete, I opened this one - mainly because there was noway someone would do a send to all with this kind of mail. Meaning someone would have had to manually filter the list (whichever one it happened to be) and look for muslim/asian sounding names, and then send to only those.

Upon further inspection, I'm surprised to see the email was sent to "toseef

googlemail.com" which is a variation of the one I use i.e.

gmail.com although both end up at the same place. But that's not what I'm trying to get at, more confusing to me was the content of the message. An extract:

Would you like to attend the next Muslim marriage event in Manchester, with the chance to meet up to 40 potential marriage partners face-to-face in a single afternoon?

Woah. The first thing that came to mind was "man, that is seriously ferked up!" and y'know why? Because I was thinking, show a guy 40 chicks/women in a single afternoon, and those too who could be "potentials" - boy, is he going to be messed up in the head (for quite some time!). Show a guy one chick and he'll be 'uhming' and 'aahing' until he has a nervous breakdown, but these people want to show 40?! Unbelievable.

I can just imagine it now, some woman saying "Oh I really liked that guy, but he didn't seem too sure". You're damn right he didn't, that's because he's got visions of 39 other woman constantly flashing through his mind!

It goes on to say:

All our introductions take place within a quality, safe and halal environment, with the presence of an Islamic Scholar, ensuring that everyone feels comfortable, relaxed and gets the most out of the experience.

Yeah man, belieeeve, that is really what it says. Halal? Seems outrageous to me. Maybe living in Dews has made me all Taliban-minded but the Tony Blair getting a second opinion (on the legitimacy of the war) situation comes to mind. If the first person disagrees, get a second, or third (and so forth) until one sticks!

All this begs the question, has anyone ever been to one of these? I bet you leave more confuddled (ok I made that word up) than when you first went in. Now I'm curious to know what the success rate is to events like these, I bet you it's not much. Not that I'm thinking of attending.

Oh, if you are at your wits end and think you have nothing to lose the site in question is muslim-marriage-events.com

12 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 25th May 2009 08:55:42 PM

check this out

Came across this youtube vid, some guy singing A Whole New World (the male and female version). Kinda cool, do check it out ...

via thehodge

2 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Sunday 24th May 2009 04:34:14 PM

ive gone fat!

Y'know everywhere I go, whoever I see, they will say something along the lines of how much weight I've gained recently. Before, I wasn't too fussed because everyone used to say I'm too skinny and need to gain some weight, so when people started saying I've gone fat I was thinking "Yeah man! This is what it's all about!"

But now, after speaking to a few people I think I need to trim down a lil bit. Currently I'm at 11 stones (154 lbs) and when you're a shorty like me at 5" 7' I don't think that's too good, so I've decided I'm going to trim down to 10 and a half or even 10 stones.

I never thought I would ever be fat, or even ever be called fat but hey, as they're always saying on the telly "these are unprecedented times" ;) which all triggered when I moved next door and started living all by myself. It's funny in a way, because some of my clothes don't fit me anymore and the ones that do are not so comfy anymore (horrible!). Omg, now I think I have an inkling of what women feel like when they say "omg I've gone fat! how did this happen?" damn damn damn

oh, and I turned 23 a week ago so I have to remember that number for a year now

7 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 4th May 2009 02:11:09 AM

Oops I did it again

Me and Abz were going to the cinema to watch X-Men Wolverine today (excellent movie btw) when a police car flashes up behind me, yes a POLICE CAR, so naturally as anyone would, I pull to the side to let it pass. But no, it doesn't want to pass but pull me over. I was a little shocked yet at the same time thought nothing of it assuming it was just a regular stop and check.

The policeman walks to the passenger side of the car and on that I draw down the window. He asks us a question (which I can't quite remember) and straight away reaches out and takes out the tax disc ...

"Why is your tax disc six months out of date?"

At this point I am shocked out of my face!

"It is? I didn't know!"

"Would you mind joining me and my colleague in the car?"

And on that, I walk to the car and take a seat. This is the first time I've sat in a police car and I'm surprised to find out how comfy it is, and the gadgets are pretty cool too.

He asks me why the road tax is out of date, and I simply told him the truth. That I usually recieve a letter reminding me it's up for renewal and I don't recall receiving one, and that could be due to me not living at the car's registered address. Though I've only moved next door, he didn't need to know that ;)

Then he's like

"Do you know when your MOT is due?"

"Err ... not really"

"Well lucky for you, we've ran your car through the system and it expires in 4 days"

"It is?" (shocker!)

"Make sure you get it done by then"

On that note he tells me I've got a standard £60 fine and lucky for me no points on the license. I was happy with that. Also, he seemed to be a pretty laid back copper ...

"If it was some of my colleagues they might have taken the car since it's not supposed to be on the road, but me and my colleagues we're not like that. We'll let you go to the movie as long as we don't see you driving in the evening"

When I got back to the car Abz couldn't believe what had happened, neither could I for that matter. Truth is I don't really have an interest in cars, mine or anyone else's. Anyone would have thought that after the previous incident I would have learnt something by now. In all honesty, I don't wanna!

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini